These last two months I’ve deliberately taken a leave from
many of the usual inspirational sources that keep me going, except music. Something
required after I realized where my mind had taken me. I had a problem and didn’t
know it. I am still not sure what happened, how it happened, if I will ever be
able to know, but I am okay. I interpret artworks; I interpret poems; I
interpret things. I have the tendency to read beyond what’s given and create
meaning. I guess that’s what I did with your words. My interpretations are not
accurate all the time. I began making up associations until I drowned. It won’t
happen again. I’ll read poetry, watch good movies, write in silence, and work
really hard so it won’t happen again. The last thing I wanted was to make you
feel uncomfortable or give you trouble. I had dreamed of a fairy tale because of
what I believed and felt. No big deal. Having faith in you still doesn’t sound
silly to me although I was heading in the wrong direction. There are things a
thousand times worse than making an interpretational mistake. It was important
for me to try. I don’t get it. I don’t know if I am going to get it. And who
cares if I’ll ever get it. It would’ve been great to clear things up in person
but as you can tell I am a work in progress because we all are, and that’s good
news.
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